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The Lodge, Three Aces, Lou Malnati's, Spirit of Chicago, Tortoise Club
The Lodge, Three Aces, Lou Malnati's, Spirit of Chicago, Tortoise Club
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9 Tacky Valentine's Day Options That May or May Not Melt Hearts

The pressure for a perfect night offers restaurant diners a variety of playful, or darn right tacky options.

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The Lodge, Three Aces, Lou Malnati's, Spirit of Chicago, Tortoise Club
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It's easy to feel stressed around Valentine's Day. It's cold and often gloomy; not exactly ideal for courting a companion. Couples feel pressure in planning the special night and sift through a myriad of options, offering ideal conditions for bars and restaurants to feast upon those vulnerabilities. They'll offer prix fixes, special cocktails and other gimmicks, all knowing too well that someone's ready to spend. Here's a brief sampling of tacky options.

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Lodge Tavern

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Playboy Key Club: IT'S A KEY CLUB. Servers will don the customary Playboy bunny ears and tails, while "Hugh Hefner" will help singles mingle.

Lou Malnati's Pizzeria

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Heart-Shaped Pizza: Lou's isn't the only one to offer this cheesy token of your affection. Giordano's and Pie-Eyed are also guilty.

Skydeck Chicago

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#LoveOnTheLedge: Twitter hashtags have no shortage of uses, unfortunately. The tower formerly known as Sears will offer a romantic breakfast on Valentine's, claiming the Skydeck's witessed more than 700 wedding proposals and 61 weddings. Talk about taking the plunge.

Spirit of Chicago Cruises

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Love Boat: There are a variety of cruises so couples can freeze their rears off. This one offers a buffet dinner for $99 per person and bills it as "Your Love Boat." Not without Isaac, you don't.

The Hangge-Uppe

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Fuzzy Handcuffs & Boudoir Photos: Patrons can play something called the "Fuzzy Handcuff Game." They can also take a boudoir photo with a "sexy" backdrop. Make it stop already.

Three Aces

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Bad Girl Brunch: Hey, riot grrrls rule. But it remains unclear if icons like Patti Smith and others had tarot cards, bagel boards and bubbly punch in mind.

Tortoise Club

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Hummer: The Tortoise Club wins the award for most...tactful...drink special. Coinciding with the release of 50 Shades of Grey, they'll give customers with a ticket stub a free... Hummer. That's made of espresso liqueur, rum and vanilla ice cream. Optional shot of class?

She-nannigans House of Beer

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Naughty Little Cabaret Pole Dancing: Choreographers from Naughty Little Cabaret will show patrons how to work the pole. These are male dancers who perform burlesque. And Rush and Division is obviously a Mecca for female empowerment, so the lessons may actually make sense here.

White Castle

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Love Castle: For those sliding in and out of relationships, make a reservation at White Castle. Cause if you liked it you should have put a Chicken Ring™ on it.

Lodge Tavern

Playboy Key Club: IT'S A KEY CLUB. Servers will don the customary Playboy bunny ears and tails, while "Hugh Hefner" will help singles mingle.

Lou Malnati's Pizzeria

Heart-Shaped Pizza: Lou's isn't the only one to offer this cheesy token of your affection. Giordano's and Pie-Eyed are also guilty.

Skydeck Chicago

#LoveOnTheLedge: Twitter hashtags have no shortage of uses, unfortunately. The tower formerly known as Sears will offer a romantic breakfast on Valentine's, claiming the Skydeck's witessed more than 700 wedding proposals and 61 weddings. Talk about taking the plunge.

Spirit of Chicago Cruises

Love Boat: There are a variety of cruises so couples can freeze their rears off. This one offers a buffet dinner for $99 per person and bills it as "Your Love Boat." Not without Isaac, you don't.

The Hangge-Uppe

Fuzzy Handcuffs & Boudoir Photos: Patrons can play something called the "Fuzzy Handcuff Game." They can also take a boudoir photo with a "sexy" backdrop. Make it stop already.

Three Aces

Bad Girl Brunch: Hey, riot grrrls rule. But it remains unclear if icons like Patti Smith and others had tarot cards, bagel boards and bubbly punch in mind.

Tortoise Club

Hummer: The Tortoise Club wins the award for most...tactful...drink special. Coinciding with the release of 50 Shades of Grey, they'll give customers with a ticket stub a free... Hummer. That's made of espresso liqueur, rum and vanilla ice cream. Optional shot of class?

She-nannigans House of Beer

Naughty Little Cabaret Pole Dancing: Choreographers from Naughty Little Cabaret will show patrons how to work the pole. These are male dancers who perform burlesque. And Rush and Division is obviously a Mecca for female empowerment, so the lessons may actually make sense here.

White Castle

Love Castle: For those sliding in and out of relationships, make a reservation at White Castle. Cause if you liked it you should have put a Chicken Ring™ on it.

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