Playboy Key Club: IT'S A KEY CLUB. Servers will don the customary Playboy bunny ears and tails, while "Hugh Hefner" will help singles mingle.

Heart-Shaped Pizza: Lou's isn't the only one to offer this cheesy token of your affection. Giordano's and Pie-Eyed are also guilty.

#LoveOnTheLedge: Twitter hashtags have no shortage of uses, unfortunately. The tower formerly known as Sears will offer a romantic breakfast on Valentine's, claiming the Skydeck's witessed more than 700 wedding proposals and 61 weddings. Talk about taking the plunge.

Fuzzy Handcuffs & Boudoir Photos: Patrons can play something called the "Fuzzy Handcuff Game." They can also take a boudoir photo with a "sexy" backdrop. Make it stop already.

Bad Girl Brunch: Hey, riot grrrls rule. But it remains unclear if icons like Patti Smith and others had tarot cards, bagel boards and bubbly punch in mind.

Naughty Little Cabaret Pole Dancing: Choreographers from Naughty Little Cabaret will show patrons how to work the pole. These are male dancers who perform burlesque. And Rush and Division is obviously a Mecca for female empowerment, so the lessons may actually make sense here.

Love Castle: For those sliding in and out of relationships, make a reservation at White Castle. Cause if you liked it you should have put a Chicken Ring™ on it.