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Chicago Food Snob's Hilarious Predictions for 2011

Will Epic morph into a nightclub where Ed Hardy is required?!
Will Epic morph into a nightclub where Ed Hardy is required?!
Photo: Epic

There are lists and then there are lists and Chicago Now blogger Chicago Food Snob has created a hilarious list of predictions for 2011. It sidesteps the fairly unpredictable trends list and the "best things we ate this year" list and goes for a balls-out bash-you-over-the-head take on what may or may not come next year—he even starts a small feud between Eater Chicago and Grub Street (yeah, that's right, Kindelsperger, watch yourself...)

Chicago Food Snob, a.k.a. Joe Campagna, takes everyone and everything to task from Grant Achatz (he says he "currently is in possession of 'the precious'"), Rick Tramonto ("tries to come back to Tru but realizes he's only allowed in to m burger" and Paul Virant ("opens a spot IN Chicago blowing his chances to be Mayor of Western Springs") to food trucks, vegetarians and farmers, oh my.

More precious gems include bits like: Alpana Singh gets to "bitch slap" someone over Santa Margherita Pinot Grigio; Epic becomes a nightclub; Mastro's shutters and re-opens as three new steakhouses; and Rob & Allie Levitt become farmers.

But some of our favorite lines go after the food media, including Eater Chicago:

· Grubstreet.com gets an exclusive before Eater.com—Ari [Bendersky] never forgives them for going against the family. To which, Nick [Kindelsperger] wonders, what family?
· David Tamarkin gets a new, solid, colored sweater with hood, obviously, "to mix it up" when he "sneaks" in for a review. As he bought it, he was overheard to say, "It's solid because stripes are so out, bitches."
· Steve Dolinsky invites me to Pig and Pinot. A young food blogger can dream. Upon arrival, I soon learn I've been invited to be part of the wait staff.
· And our favorite line of all: 312 Dining Diva moves and is soon forgotten when she becomes the 872 Dining Diva.

· 2011 Chicago Food Scene Predictions [Chicago Now]

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